you can't be what i want but i'll be what you need
by Antiquee
Summary: Written for the mary bash ficathon over at livejournal! After the traumatic events of 1x07 "Left Behind", Mary visits Bash instead of Francis. Maybe she senses Bash will understand how she feels, after taking a life. Maybe she feels guilty about him paying the Blood Debt to save her. Maybe he feels guilty about his mother's plot with Count Vincent, inadvertently putting Mary ...


_Prompt: After the traumatic events of 1x07 "Left Behind", Mary visits Bash instead of Francis. Maybe she senses Bash will understand how she feels, after taking a life. Maybe she feels guilty about him paying the Blood Debt to save her. Maybe he feels guilty about his mother's plot with Count Vincent, inadvertently putting Mary & her Ladies in danger. I just really wanted the show to give us scenes of Mash talking about these things, instead of Frary having ill-advised questionably-timed sex. :P_

Mary stood outside Bash's door hesitant to knock. She had initially started walking towards Francis' quarters before deciding he wasn't the one she needed to see. She had thought about just walking back to her own quarters before she found herself outside of Bash's. As she raised her hand to knock on the door it opened.

"Mary?" Bash questioned, "What are you doing here?"

"Oh—uh…" Mary felt foolish going to Bash and decided she shouldn't have come in the first place; after all if someone had seen them Queen Catherine would hear about it and most definitely accuse Mary of infidelity. "I think I might've made a mistake. I'm terribly sorry." She moved to leave but Bash reached for her arm.

"Mary, are you alright?" he asked. "I heard what happened and actually, I was on my way to see you." He could see that something was wrong and he reached his other hand for the cusp of her elbow. "Please Mary, you can talk to me." Bash had felt horrible for what his mother had done. He was okay with not being Dauphin. His entire life he knew Francis was heir and that was okay with him; it was still okay with him. The only benefit he could see in the throne was that he could sit there with her.

Leaving didn't seem much of an option anymore so Mary walked past him and into his room. "I just can't get that image of Count Vincent dying from my mind." Mary admitted, "I keep replaying it over and over. My ladies scared for their lives and the only thing stopping them from being hurt was—" Mary's voice had slowly grown more frantic as she spoke.

"—was you Mary." Bash reminded her. "You proved to everybody—to Catherine; that you are a Queen and you will do whatever it takes to defend your people whether it is with a utensil or an army." He stood in front of her.

Mary couldn't help the glimpse of a smile that embraced her face before she remembered about the life that had been taken at her own hands. "This was different Bash." She said, "This was—"

"My mother." Bash said. "I'd like to believe that she wouldn't be capable of risking the lives of others but for me it seems she thinks anything is necessary." He sighed, "Lives are precious. The ones that are worth killing for are rare."

Mary turned her head towards him. "But you killed for me Bash. Wouldn't you think your mother would do the same?"

"I never said she wouldn't." He reminded, "Just that it isn't worth it. I'm not interested in being Dauphin. I told my mother not to go through with this and she would not listen. I fear maybe I could've done more to stop her."

She placed her hand gently on his arm, "Sometimes people do things for the ones they love because they think they know what's best."

"Then my mother should know to leave things as it were." Bash frowned, "I apologize Mary. For my mother and even for me. That day in the meadows I never should've kissed you. You—you were vulnerable and had been drinking but I knew full well what I was doing and you and Francis you're to be—" his words were cut off as she pressed her lips against his. Her hands drifted to his hair and tugged gently on the ends. His hands wrapped around her back pulling her closer towards him.

Mary pulled away from him quickly and pressed her fingertips to her lips. "Bash, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that."

Bash frowned, "No you shouldn't have Mary." He didn't mean for it to sound so bitter, "We can't keep doing this."

"I just feel different with you Bash." Mary admitted, "Like I can be myself. I don't need to be anything but myself around you. And you-" she moved closer to him and held his eyes with her own, "You killed for me Bash." She said every word slowly and carefully. "You are willing to do all of these things for me and in return you receive nothing."

"You're wrong." The corners of Bash's mouth turned upwards in a small smile, "I get to see you. Maybe if I had known what would come with being Dauphin maybe I would've tried harder to make my Father see me as potential ruler but I didn't. Instead I get to live the rest of my days watching this incredible woman grow into a strong Queen before my eyes. I might not be able to love her like I want to but seeing her, being a friend to her… these things I can do and I will do them to my utmost ability. For if you need me Mary I will be there for you in whichever way. I am not a ruler and do not need to put France before all else like my brother, and for that I will be for you what Francis can't."

Mary wasn't sure if she should frown or smile and her face mixed the two, "You wouldn't have made a good Dauphin." She said, "For you love, Bash, and love it seems is something royals can not do." She leaned forward and kissed him on his cheek. What could she say? Thank you for loving me? Thank you for killing for me? Thank you for letting me kiss you and leave, again? Mary moved past him and towards the door but she turned towards him before she left, "Royals may not be able to love but I will keep you here Bash." She placed her hand over her chest above her heart, "You have done more for me than anybody else and I will always cherish that. I will always cherish you… in whichever way I can have you." She stressed those last few words to him hoping maybe he could see her true feelings.

He watched her as she left and a grin finally broke across his face. He couldn't help the way she made him feel but he could help her. He could be there for her. He could be what Francis couldn't and in a way maybe that was exactly what she needed. Someone who loved her. Someone who could be a friend for her. Someone who could protect her. He would never leave her behind, not again. For as long as Bash lived he would always keep Mary safe.


End file.
